Oct5, 2012

Hello there. Monday night was the Homecoming fashion show, it was a lot of fun. Donelle made it into the top 10!! I'm so happy for her, it's really exciting. I know a few others who made it as well, so it was really awesome. However, as happy as I was/am for them, I really felt down that day. I've talked about some of my depression problems before as well as my eating habits. I had been doing better with the whole eating thing but recently I've been having difficulties again. Last weekend I barely ate anything and the rest of the week has been pretty much the same. Eating makes me feel disgusting. I was feeling really down that night and honestly nothing was making me feel better. I went out to round table so that I wouldn't have to be alone. Oh I never said what round table was, it's basically a bunch of friends and I just sitting around talking, usually for hours on end. I wasn't counting on it making me feel better but I knew I shouldn't be by myself, I've done some stupid things in my life while feeling like that. I went out there and just sat, kind of observing everything, not really talking. One of my friends asked me if I was ok though, and just those three words made a world of difference. When I start feeling like that it usually comes with the feeling that no one cares. I know it isn't true but that's how I feel. When he asked me if I was ok I almost broke down but didn't. He kept asking me because he could tell I was lying about being fine. And then he just got up and came over to give me a hug. It helped more than I can say. By the end of the night I felt much better. This guy and I have known each other for a couple years now but we weren't really close until this semester. I can't believe how close we've become so quickly. I honestly consider him one of my best friend now. We have so much in common and I know that I could trust him with anything. So if you're reading this, you know who you are, thank you. I hope you know how much of a difference you made that night, and I'm so grateful that I have you in my life. You have blogged about feeling like a bad friend recently, but you should know you're not, or not intentionally. I don't think you ever could be, maybe I'm wrong but I usually have pretty good intuition about people and you're a good person. So don't take what that one person said to heart. I know they're your best friend but it's not like you chose to grow apart. I'm kind of just babbling now and I'm sorry for that, I just hope you know that at least I think you're a great friend and I'm so glad that we're closer than ever now. Thanks for helping me and always being there for me.

~Cait :)