You know those days where you just don't feel good enough? Well I'm having one of those days. As some of you know I have bad self esteem and confidence problems. I often have difficulty accepting myself the way I am. It gets better and worse just depending on the day and what goes on. What brought this up was a couple of things. Every time I hear guys talk about how "hot" a girl is it makes me upset. It's always about the obviously gorgeous girls who are skinny, have perfect hair, etc. It's not like I'm sad because I like the guys saying these things, it's just that I'm jealous? I guess that's the word I am going to use. It just makes me feel awful, like I'm not any of those things. I've never been told I'm beautiful or anything of the sort from a guy, and to my knowledge no one has ever liked me. I guess what I'm saying is it would be nice to be the one that guys like for once. The other thing was me and a couple of friends were talking about guys we like and they kept saying how guys were dumb but the whole time I was thinking about the guy I like and it made me sad because I don't think he'd ever feel the same, I don't think I'd ever be good enough for him. I know I don't know till I try but I think if I try it would make it weird for more than just the two of us. I can't really go into detail because I don't know who all reads this and I don't want them to find out. Not right now at least...
~Cait
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