Hello there! I know it's been less than a week since I wrote last, and nothing has really happened since then. Just the usual hanging out, watching movies and such. Nothing exciting has happened... yet in a way something has changed.
Last week I was feeling very down. Almost like I was two years ago. It got pretty bad. I was feeling very lonely, sad, and was just in a very dark place. But today, just within the last hour, I noticed it's gone. I don't know what changed but I'm happy. Very happy.
As you know, I've been struggling with eating problems for several years now. I've lost over 50 pounds since high school, which may not sound like a whole lot but for someone in a wheelchair who can't hardly move and who doesn't like too much healthy food, it is a lot. I've been trying to get on a normal eating pattern. I figured that's the first step. I always eat at least twice a day now, even when I don't want to, even if it's just a little. I think this is helping me. It's definitely helping my energy I think.
I have so much confidence right now, and my self-esteem is higher than it's ever been. I don't know what changed but I'm glad it did. I feel great! I don't really care what others think anymore. I mean, sure, I'll always care about what they think but I'm not going to dwell on it any longer. I'm not going to let it get to me and upset me. It's time to start making me happy instead of worrying about if I'm okay by everyone else's standards. If you don't like me the way I am, that's your loss, I have plenty of friends who love me just the way I am.
I have more confidence now than I ever have. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm looking forward to the future and what it holds for me.
~Cait :)
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